June 19th 2018<\/p>\n
This is me being philosophical.<\/p>\n
Five days into a passage from Suffolk to the Outer Hebrides (which is about as far as you can go without leaving the country) and I am off the North East corner of Scotland, have been listening to gale warnings for the past 48 hours and the Navtex machine has just spewed out the following information: \u201cSea area Cromarty gale now ceased.\u201d<\/p>\n
I could have told them that. If I poke my head out of the hatch, my hat does not get blown off. Not to put too fine a point on it, there is no wind at all. None. We are going nowhere.<\/p>\n
I woke from my afternoon nap (to differentiate it from my morning nap, my evening nap and my various night-time naps) to the sound of sails slatting from side to side, the boom banging and the self-steering clonking.<\/p>\n
This is what happens when the wind suddenly stops. One minute it is blowing a \u201cstrong wind\u201d as the meteorologists would have it \u2013 and the next you have a calm (I looked it up. \u201cSea state: Calm, glassy, like a mirror.\u201d This was not even Force One which is \u201cRipples like scales are formed.\u201d<\/p>\n
This is when the Old Man must stop thinking about progress. After all this is not a race. I have no-one to measure myself against. So, a distraction is what is needed. There are two distractions on this boat. One is Mr Kipling\u2019s Cherry Bakewell Tarts and the other is Mr Kipling\u2019s French Fancies.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re not familiar with British supermarket shelves, Mr Kipling is baker. He has a little corner shop just off the High Street where he produces the most wondrous cakes and pastries \u2013 a sort of Willie Wonka of the bakery world. As often as not, he will pop an extra macaroon into your paper bag with a conspiratorial wink as if to say: \u201cDon\u2019t tell Mrs Kipling\u201d.<\/p>\n
At least that is the image behind the brand dreamed up by the advertising agency employed many years ago by the vast conglomerate (Kraft? Unilever?) which owns the Mr Kipling brand.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I was in Sainsbury\u2019s doing the last-minute victualling (serious stuff like corned beef and porridge oats) when I couldn\u2019t help noticing that Mr Kipling\u2019s Cherry Bakewell Tarts and his French Fancies were on Special Offer – and we do love a special offer.<\/p>\n
So far, so good. The colourful boxes were stowed away with everything else \u2013 at least, the Cherry Bakewell Tarts were \u2013 what happened to the French Fancies, I have not the faintest idea.<\/p>\n
To coin a line from Titanic: \u201cThere are only so many places they can be. Find them Lovejoy. Find them\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Normally, this wouldn\u2019t be a problem. They would turn up. But a calm does funny things to the mind. Suddenly a French Fancy was the only thing that would do. Previous love affairs with Cherry Bakewell Tarts were forgotten in the frantic search \u2013 digestives cast aside – Tunnock\u2019s Caramel Wafers chucked in with the cook-in sauces. Packets and packets of Penguin biscuits (why so many) ended up in with the rusty chopped tomatoes\u2026<\/p>\n
There was a moment when I sat back on my haunches in the middle of the not-very-large cabin, surrounded by packets and tins and jars and came to my senses. The logic went like this: The French Fancies were here. It was just that I couldn\u2019t see them \u2013 like looking for the butter in the fridge (I\u2019m looking for butter in a gold wrapper. How am I supposed to see butter in a plain wrapper).<\/p>\n
So here was the deal: I would make a cup of tea and have one of Mr Kipling\u2019s Cherry Bakewell tarts. Only after that would I put everything away \u2013 and if, in the course of restoring order, I happened to chance on the French Fancies, well\u2026 I could reward myself with one of those as well \u2013 and another cup of tea.<\/p>\n
And do you think I found them? Of course I found them. Right next to the Cherry Bakewell Tarts – only they were in a slightly smaller colourful box (Fancies are smaller than Tarts \u2013 it makes sense). I was looking for a box the same size.<\/p>\n
I had hardly finished the last mouthful, carefully collecting the crumbs by squashing them with my finger (I must be watchful for deteriorating personal habits) when I realised that the whole world had leaned over a bit and there was a delightful chuckling sound as the water started moving past the hull.<\/p>\n
We were on our way once again.<\/p>\n
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June 19th 2018 This is me being philosophical. Five days into a passage from Suffolk to the Outer Hebrides (which is about as far as you can go without leaving the country) and I am off the North East corner of Scotland, have been listening to gale warnings for the past 48 hours and the … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[37,7,38,39],"class_list":["post-384","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-mr-kipling","tag-rival-32","tag-sailing","tag-single-handed"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/384","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=384"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/384\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":394,"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/384\/revisions\/394"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=384"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=384"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=384"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}