{"id":3576,"date":"2026-04-21T08:08:01","date_gmt":"2026-04-21T08:08:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/?p=3576"},"modified":"2026-05-22T15:09:06","modified_gmt":"2026-05-22T15:09:06","slug":"one-thing-after-another","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/one-thing-after-another\/","title":{"rendered":"One thing after another"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/embed.acast.com\/6766f4022dc5d9b993aeca62\/6a106649163f100183366673\" width=\"100%\" height=\"80px\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3577\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3577\" style=\"width: 290px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-3577\" src=\"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7258-300x225.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7258-300x225.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7258-scaled-600x450.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7258-1024x768.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7258-768x576.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7258-1536x1152.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7258-2048x1536.jpeg 2048w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7258-810x608.jpeg 810w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7258-1230x923.jpeg 1230w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7258-192x144.jpeg 192w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3577\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Martinique nightlife<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\">3rd April 2026<\/p>\n<p data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\">\u201cIn the last 24 hours,\u201d said the ship\u2019s doctor, \u201cyou have fainted, fallen over and started another fire on the boat.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Then he added: \u201cThis cannot go on.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I started doing my\u201d \u2018Bu&#8230;bu\u2026bu\u2026\u201d routine, which means that I have an objection, a justification or, at the very least, some sort of protestation to put forward \u2013 only I cannot find the words for it just at this moment.<\/p>\n<p>So, I had better explain.<\/p>\n<p>Ever since arriving on board Samsara in Grenada, fresh from the family skiing holiday in Austria, my youngest son, Hugo, has usurped the role of ship\u2019s doctor.<\/p>\n<p>The holiday had been marred only by the family ganging up on me over my vegetarian diet \u2013 or, to be more precise, my paltry protein intake. Since we now have a doctor in the family in the hulking shape of Number Two Son Theo, there wasn\u2019t much I could say in my defence &#8211; and Liana, Number One Son Owen\u2019s fianc\u00e9e, and a fellow vegetarian, was no help at all.<\/p>\n<p>No sooner were we back aboard than Hugo insisted on taking an inventory of my typical day\u2019s diet and counting up every gram of protein. It was quite clear that I was woefully lacking in this. Half a tin of kidney beans\u2026 one boiled egg\u2026a handful of pistachio nuts. These things do not grow rough, tough ocean sailors.<\/p>\n<p>And, I must confess that over the past few years, I have despaired at seeing pictures of myself with my shirt off. What happened to my muscles? I look like an old man\u2026<\/p>\n<p>So, under Hugo\u2019s guidance, I have started to eat chicken, fish and cheese again \u2013 but no red meat (and certainly no pork \u2013 there is a reason so many religions ban pork). Also, I cannot bear to face a plate of delicious calamari knowing that the Octopus is such a gentle and intelligent creature that it really does arrange \u201can octopus\u2019s garden in the shade\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>Consequently, yesterday, at anchor in Fort-de-France, Hugo took the dinghy ashore before breakfast to buy a proper French baguette from a proper French boulangerie.<\/p>\n<p>We ate it with two boiled eggs each and half a jar of Bonne Maman <em>Confiture d\u2019abricots <\/em>\u2013 along with the obligatory freshly squeezed orange juice and black coffee.<\/p>\n<p>The sun was hot, the baguette was full of protein, and the <em>confiture d\u2019abricots <\/em>was as sweet and glutinous as ever. I began to feel a little dizzy with the excitement.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI feel a little dizzy,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDrink some water,\u201d said Hugo. He\u2019s always saying: \u201cDrink some water\u201d. I think this was his parting instruction from Dr Theo at Salzburg Airport.<\/p>\n<p>The next thing I knew, Hugo was standing over me in a state of great alarm, and my shorts were all wet.<\/p>\n<p>What had happened (and I am ready to dispute this \u2013 after all, we only have Hugo\u2019s word for it). Is that I passed out even before my shaking hand with the water bottle reached my mouth. My head lolled back, mouth open. The water poured all over my lap. And Hugo went into full panic mode.<\/p>\n<p>He phoned Dr Theo. Dr Theo did not answer. He was due for his face-to-face Zoom Italian lesson (Dr Theo should have a receptionist). Hugo phoned his Mum. She was in London, in the West End, watching <em>Lifeline<\/em> about the discovery of penicillin (very appropriate \u2013 Tamsin is a former pediatric nurse). She didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n<p>The Panic Mode now rising to DefCon Five, Hugo punched out a message to the family WhatsApp group: \u201cSomebody answer the phone. Dad collapsed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That was when I woke up, wondering what all the fuss was about (and why my shorts were all wet). I felt fine. I said so, repeatedly, as one by one, every member of the family phoned back, clamouring for news.<\/p>\n<p>And Theo went all family doctor on me: I should get myself checked out. Did we have an ECG machine onboard! I should at least have my blood pressure taken. Had I banged my head? Was I lying down? Good idea \u2013 a little lie down after breakfast\u2026<\/p>\n<p>It took ten minutes to get him off the phone, and even then, I jumped every time I heard an ambulance siren.<\/p>\n<p>But I really did feel fine. It was just too much breakfast in the hot sun, and maybe I really should drink more water.<\/p>\n<p>And so, panic over, Hugo and I took the bus to the giant Carrefour to stock up on sardines and pink salmon and French cheese &#8211; and no men in white coats appeared, so we decided to take ourselves off for dinner in a really good French restaurant (the \u201cWhen in France\u201d compulsion covering more than just fresh baguette for breakfast).<\/p>\n<p>The really good French restaurant was closed (much to the annoyance of the man who turned up at the same time \u2013 he had a reservation). Never mind, we found another \u2013 and it really was very good indeed. I forget quite what we had \u2013 it was that good\u2026<\/p>\n<p>The only <em>mouche <\/em>in the<em> consomm\u00e9 <\/em>was that it had been raining \u2013 one of those sudden showers so typical of the Antilles in April, and the pavements were wet \u2013 and Martinique, being part of France and not your usual, somewhat basic, Caribbean island, has decorative ceramic pavements which gleam attractively under the party lights shining from all the bars.<\/p>\n<p>Deceptively attractively, in fact, given that these pavements become dangerously slippery under an old man wearing Crocs. I fell heavily and got up to find my right forearm bleeding all over the attractive ceramic patterns.<\/p>\n<p>I went into the place where we\u2019d had lunch to wash it, reasoning that, technically speaking, I was still a customer (as well as an emergency). I rocked up at the Really Good Restaurant clutching a wad of paper towel to my arm so they would still let us in.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, it stopped bleeding by the pavlova.<\/p>\n<p>When we got back to the boat, I dressed it in Elastoplast soaked in tea tree oil, and I\u2019m sure it\u2019s healing nicely.<\/p>\n<p>Besides, by this morning, I had other things to worry about. The batteries were down to 23%. There\u2019s not much wind in the anchorage under the fort and it had been generally cloudy. Breakfast was going to be courtesy of the little alcohol camping stove.<\/p>\n<p>I filled the reservoir carefully to two-thirds. I placed it on the gimballed stove. I wiped away a few drops of spilt alcohol. I lit it with the turbo lighter. It burst into flames.<\/p>\n<p>The next few minutes I shall gloss over. It is enough for you to know that the fire blanket took a long time to douse the flames. Hugo wanted to break out the fire extinguisher and \u201cstrike knob hard\u201d. I said this would make an awful mess. He said: \u201cNot as much mess as burning down the boat.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The flames went out just in time. Hugo looked up how many times you can use a fire blanket. Answer: \u201cNormally, once\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>I claimed this was a one-off because, in wiping away the few drops of spilt alcohol, I had allowed the gimballed stove to swing and spilled a whole lot more.<\/p>\n<p>I will know better next time.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere won\u2019t be a next time,\u201d said Hugo.<\/p>\n<p>Doctors don\u2019t know anything. Especially ship\u2019s doctors.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-3578\" src=\"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7302-300x225.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7302-300x225.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7302-scaled-600x450.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7302-1024x768.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7302-768x576.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7302-1536x1152.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7302-2048x1536.jpeg 2048w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7302-810x608.jpeg 810w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7302-1230x923.jpeg 1230w, https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_7302-192x144.jpeg 192w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>3rd April 2026 \u201cIn the last 24 hours,\u201d said the ship\u2019s doctor, \u201cyou have fainted, fallen over and started another fire on the boat.\u201d Then he added: \u201cThis cannot go on.\u201d I started doing my\u201d \u2018Bu&#8230;bu\u2026bu\u2026\u201d routine, which means that I have an objection, a justification or, at the very least, some sort of protestation &#8230; <a title=\"One thing after another\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/one-thing-after-another\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about One thing after another\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3576","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-singlehanded"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3576","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3576"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3576\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3631,"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3576\/revisions\/3631"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3576"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3576"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/racecoast.net\/omstest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3576"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}